One upon a time, cycle of my mind

People,

I love people.

Everywhere I go I feel captivated by the beauty of human beings. Always running through my head is the social deconstructions of human interaction, the implications that follow behavior, and the wisdom that can be attained. As these theories and philosophies mingle blood around my skull, another observatory sits housed in my being. Beauty. Angles of beauty. People are angles in motion. I see people as wonderfully unique, and when I look around I can’t believe the physical landscape of bodies that is so magnificent and pristine. I am in love with the shadows of cheekbones, the lines of hips, figures I trace in my mind and burn into my bones. This is my art.

There are also times when my blossom of social consciousness boils me into despair. I think so deep I feel my face slapped with the bedrock of reality, and I am paralyzed from the neck down. I lie in a pathetic puddle of optics and mind and melt into the jagged cracks of loneliness. However, at exactly the right moment, the beauty of people becomes more than just an observed masterpiece. Moments of shocking clarity gather up my muddy name. 

I am actually alive.

I can move my fingers if I want to. There will one day be a final second of life where consciousness turns to plant fertilizer. Death. Life. It is within these nirvana awakenings that I begin to evaporate out of the caverns of daily mundane to do list illusions. Then I am part of something. Decisions feel relevant, purpose is recognized, and my hope for adventure carries me back to the reality that I am here. Only in this moment.

This moment that lasts forever. Though my mind wanders in sun setting nostalgia, and re-do escape plans, my fingers grasp the purity of timelessness. I just am. This rebirth shows me that I am part of the beauty I see. Life can be fucking magical, as tempting as it is to chase and hold on to those enchanted moments, they will never be real until you let go. Surrender to hope, and trust with all your heart that the universe is no doubt unfolding, as it should.